So my cold is getting pretty bad. I woke up today with my head pounding, stuffy nose, congestion, my throats being a bitch, and its gonna take a bit longer to get rid of this i guess.

My sister gave me two Alka Seltzer liquid pill things so I took them, then I read the back, "Nighttime". Fuck. lol

I guess I'll be sleeping all day. :/

So my brother-in-law today was helping me find the charge cable for the camera i'll be using for my YouTube videos from now on, and my sister got jealous because he was helping me.

Pretty much she turned it into a big thing, and I really didn't want to be a part of it.

She was all like, Well you help her and you never help me! And he said, Well she at least says thank you and please... you never say that, so I won't do shit for you.... and then she gets madder and is all, Well then why don't you divorce me and marry her! and he goes, Because it's not in the cards!

Okay, he's repulsive to me, I'd never be able to think about anything with him, not to mention, he's done my sister, which is gross. ew. She could learn to say please and thank you every now and then, and maybe they'd not get into so many arguments.... I really don't like getting dragged into the middle of things with them, because I don't do anything wrong, and one or the other gets pissed at me. Unfair.

I really wish people would just grow the hell up.

Okay, so I need to start getting to bed on time I think...

I havent been able to sleep before 2am or wake up earlier than 11am... soooo I think it's time I train myself to get to bed on time. Actually, I planned on being alseep yesterday by 9, but I wasnt tired, and it took me until 1:30am to get the least bit tired, and set my alarm for 10am.... when the alarm went on I turned it off and fell back aleep til 12:45pm... kinda pathetic... I'm gonna try again tonight... I'll be in bed by 11pm... and try and wake by 9am. Kinda hoping it doesnt take me forever to adjust to a normal bed time and stuff...

My dad's expecting me to be awake by 6am and shit to get on careerbuilder and apply to jobs... "That's the best time to get online and get first dibs at the newly posted jobs..." not that I don't appreciate his help, but for time being I think I'll stick with my plan at the sleep schedule first and apply to jobs whenever I wake up.

Has anyone seen The Tattooist? That movie is strange... almost as strange as Smiley Face. It did start making me think about getting a tattoo at some point in my life though, not sure what.... hmm... maybe a tribal symbol? I gotta look into my heritage more... not sure what kind of indian I am lol XD

Ahhh niiight everyoneeeee :P

I've been having some major caffeen withdrawls lately... I got so used to having a cup of coffee every morning with my parents every single day... :/

Jeff and I are going to just be friends for now... I'm kinda sad about it but whatever he wants I guess, I want him to be comfortable with me.... Thanks JoeD btw, I needed a guys view...

So, I'm sick... this blows. I had a video planned today and it required my vocal cords, and those are kinda all blah now lol... I think I'm still gonna try making the video. lol... go me. XD

I wanna re-do my myspace  layout.... but it's a lot more trouble than it's worth at the mo. I love it the way it is now and all, but I wanna make it better, and I need to figure out how... I kinda need to change my thingy... umm/// yea....

fuck

Okies, I haven't written anything in a few days, so here goes.

Within one week I've packed up and moved myself back to my sister's house in Rochester. I cant find work in Nunda for the life of me, and I just re-did my resume, posted it on Monster and CareerBuilder... and America's Job Network thingy. So, with the four or five jobs I applied to, I hope to hear something... of course thats not going to stop me from looking around some more.

Things with Jeff are getting a bit wierd. We've only been texting back and forth a week... and he feels like we're moving to fast. I'm not sure what to think of that, I mean, he said, I like you but I feel like I'm being suffocated, I'm freaking out because I haven't been in a relationship with someone in a while... stuff like that.. Then I asked him about weather he thought we should call it quits or keep working on it, because I want a straight answer, and I didn't hear back from him. I'm pretty sure that the answer was in the silence... :/ Buuut I texted him later that night and asked him what I could do to make him feel like he wasnt being suffocated... and he said that I smother him with texts, when I dont send more than like 10 a day to him, if even that. Soooo.... I told him when he was ready to talk, to let me know, and all he said was alright.

I dont quite understand it.... I'm kinda wondering if he really thinks we're going too fast, or if he's just trying to get rid of me. I've been messed with far too much to really trust someone... I want to trust him, but I'm wondering if maybe I shouldnt. Ehhhhhhh... im in quite a pickle.

New Years... well, what can I say about it... perhaps, disaster?

So I went with my sister and brother-in-law to his parents place for New Years, I didn't exactly want to go because every time I go there nothing good comes of it, there's always an arguement about something, and I'm always getting yelled at or lectured. So, I went because my sister didn't want me spending the holiday alone in her house.

We're there and I brought my laptop so that I can have something to do while they're in the other room chatting about whatever, and I wasnt connecting to the internet for some reason, so I asked my brother-in-law about it (he's the techy guy) and he tells me to ask his little brother. I go to ask him and I cant get a sentence out, or even a syllable. His father is yelling for him, then continues to yell that I need him to help me get the internet on my computer.

He helped me, and continued to his video games. Then the dog comes in the room barking it's lungs out and pees on the couch. They come in the room screaming at the dog, start getting the dog all hyper, and he starts jumping at me and the others. I have a brand new laptop, this isnt working for me. I get up, get pushed back down on the couch, where do I land? Right in the puddle the dog left. Lovely.

About 10pm more people show up, food is ready, I get up to go get something to eat. The dog broke the cable that hooked me up to internet.

By 11:30 I was ready to go home. My parents home.       My brother-in-law had lectured me for about a half an hour about making decisions and college, my mom called me to talk to my sister, and all I wanted was to watch New Years Rockin' Eve with Dick Clark, who looks like he's doing better.

We're down to the last ten minutes and my brother-in-law brings out the wine and champaign and cups, is pouring the wine for people, and comes to me, my sister and his mom made the hugest scene in the world in front of a housefull of people. His mom said there isn't going to be any underage drinking in her house, and I was going to respect that. Then my sister looks at me with a disgusted look and says, Mom said you're not to drink either! You know better! I don't think you should be drinking! and on... Gary's insisting, I'm embarassed, Tina and my sister are angry... I declined.

One minute past midnight Tina (the mother-in-law) gets up and gets a fancy glass thing from the china cabinet, shoves it in my face, and tells Gary to pour me some.

An hour later we left.

Way to celebrate... I'd have been better off sitting at the house alone. :-/

So at 2:50am my friend text messaged me with absolutely nothing of importance and I ended up staying awake since then, I just cant seem to get myself back to sleep. I have to be awake by 7am so I guess I'm just going to stay up then. I'm going to work with my sister today, I actually havent been to the public library downtown in a few months and I'm kinda psyched about seeing my favorite security guard. :P

Also tonight I guess I'll be going to a New Year's party at my sisters mother-in-law's house. Nothing too exciting, I was kinda hoping to spend New Year's with a friend, but since none of them are writing me back or anything I guess I'll end up going with my sister. :o/

My mom's birthday was yesterday too... I feel absolutely terrible for not having bought her anything, and I dont have any money either... I sent her one of those cards from 1001postcards.com... Idk that she got it... but if she didnt get it yesterday, then she should check her email today.

So i'm back in Rochester for visits for the week. All my friends said they missed me and wanted to hang this week, and so i come out, and they wont answer my calls.

I think i've wasted a trip.  :(

Today has just been one of those days for me today for some reason. I went to bed late last night, all stuffy and yuck... so i took something for it before i fell asleep... I slept until nearly 2pm today. I feel like maaajor crap. & I'm super tired still.

I gotta call up college and tell them I need to withdrawl before 4pm, I cant believe I only just remembered that. :-/  I was supposed to be in college starting the 22nd of January, but I had to have my bill paid by the 2nd, and I havent recieved my Pell Grant, or my loans, and I cant pay it on my own, soooo I have to withdrawl before the 2nd or I don't get full refund... They said I was able to do it online, but I looked and it's beyond impossible for me to figure out how to do that. So I figurd I'd give them a call, hopefully the offices are open... if they arent, then i need to call on the 2nd... pronto. lol.

I hope they hold onto all my papers for the fall semester... or i'll be quite the unhappy person.

Heey! So earlier in the afternoon what was now yesterday, I was thinking about high school and how fast time has gone already. It's going on about 2 years since I've been graduated... and then Blogs4Me.com popped in my head!

As soon as I upload pictures onto my laptop, I'm updating more!

Soooooo.... In the time that I havent been a very active user in the blogs, I've been living in Rochester, NY with my sister and her husband. Pretty much just trying to work after graduation. So far I've had a couple different jobs (or not so different...)

I started out at Strong National Museum of Play working in the food court. Then after a few months I went for a full time job at Tim Hortons down the road from me, and that lasted only as long as I could put up with my boss... she was a maaaajor bitch. No joke - the woman told me so much as that she didnt like me, and she was also quite racist as well... >.< Anyway, after that I got tired of food service, and I applied at a staffing agency ( that I doubt I told I moved back to Nunda... hmm.. :s) and they'd sent me to several different factories.

so pretty much thats all I been up to....

Oh, I will be going to college in the fall if things work out as planned? :P